Nickelodeon All Star Brawl was released in 2021 on the Nintendo Switch, Playstations 4 through 5, Xboxes One through Series X, and PC to critical “huh, this isn’t that bad”. It brought in twenty well-loved characters from Nickelodeon past and present, a surprising eye to detail for features competitive players care about, and a commitment to bringing in Garfield as a DLC character.
But there is one question about NASB that has haunted the minds of gamers for about a month or two. A question that Nickelodeon refuses to answer and one that I, a humble semi-part time podcasting journalist, must address.
That question, of course: What kind of podcasts align with each fighter in the Nickelodeon All Star Brawl roster?
. . . Okay, I know what this looks like. This is Eddie just doing that big long Smash Brothers list again because it made some numbers and now he thinks going after the 90’s kid nostalgia for Nickelodeon cartoons will make that happen again and not seem like he’s beating a dead horse.
Read more: Every Super Smash Brothers Fighter as a Podcast (UPDATED 10/5/21)
Well, you know what, bucko? You are absolutely 100% correct. I’m glad we’re on the same page.
I was originally writing this with the intention of assigning every represented Nickelodeon character a specific podcast, but then I realized these characters cannot be contained to single shows. Instead I generalize about what kind of podcast each character has the vibe of, sometimes naming a few specific podcasts . Maybe it’s the kind of show they would host or the kind of show they would listen to or just like their kind of show.
This also allowed me to also be a little mean without calling about specific shows. If you feel like I am talking about you and your show, that’s between you and God.
(Editor’s note: All images sourced from the official, but hilariously unverified, Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl Twitter account.)
Danny Phantom is one of those podcasts where they talk about ghost stories and strange happenings. I would also specify podcasts that are spooky and also queer, since Danny Phantom carries the same unintended queer undertones as a lot of Butch Hartman’s early 2000’s work.
April O’Neil is obviously a news podcast. I’d go a step further and say she’s one of those This American Life-like podcasters who goes all in on people’s individual stories to highlight a different walk of life in an almost exploitative way.
Ren and Stimpy are a two guys just chatting podcast, except it’s one of those one’s that’s actually really good for a while but then one of the guys winds up being a piece of shit and the show ends. It’ll be paraded around as a victim of canceled culture by people who will reference it so much that you’ll grow to resent the original content.
Read more: Why Your Podcast Sucks : S-Town
(I know what you’re all asking, and I do think that Stimpy would be the one that’s canceled. His soft boy vibes cannot justify some of his firmly held beliefs.)
Aang is a mix of meditation and upbeat podcasts. The kind of things to help your inner mind find peace while also not paying attention to the outer workings of the world. I’m fully aware that Aang doesn’t necessarily get this choice in Avatar: The Last Airbender, but you know it’s his vibe.
I should mention now that I’ve actually played the game since, as a dedicated reporter, I need to know my primary sources. I mention this because, for those gamers like me out there only interested in the mad statz of these characters, Aang sucks to play as. It’s very funny to me how a lot of the characters who seem like they would fit perfectly in a fighting game (Danny Phantom, Aang, Zim) are a bit lackluster, while some of the more cartoony characters (Nigel Thornberry, Catdog, Reptar) are borderline broken. This game is a 100/10.
I’m honestly a little torn on Sandy. On one hand, I could see her as those deep dive science podcasts explaining big science things to us dummies in an approachable yet informative way. On the other hand, Sandy is a deep sea explorer on a scientific journey to study an aquatic landscape. While she hasn’t run into too many horrifying things, I could see her as a collection of the various audio dramas about how scary yet wonderful the sea is (AKA “The Jordan Cobb Mix”).
Zim isn’t a specific type of podcast per say. Rather, he is one of those podcasts that clearly doesn’t want to be just a podcast. He’s ambitious, trying to get a movie deal or a talk show or take over the world, all things we know certain podcasters get into the game for.
At the end of the day, it’s unsuccessful, and he spends his time searching the word “podcast” on twitter and responding to every tweet he sees.
Nigel Thornberry is podcasts about animals. Pet animals, wild animals, extinct animals, he’s your guy. I’ve been talking about these characters as varying genres and kinds of podcasts, but Nigel Thornberry, like April O’Neil, is one of the few people on this list I could see with a real podcast. He’d have his own show that isn’t updated often since he spends most of his time guesting on other peoples shows as an expert on whatever animal thing they’re talking about.
Spongebob has big celebrity podcast vibes. Maybe I’m conflating the character with his cultural influence, but he does have the vibe of a celebrity being put in front of a microphone to talk about stuff, maybe interview people. I guess what I’m saying is Spongebob is the Conan O’Brian of podcasting.
As a side tangent, they gave every character about three unvoiced, pre written lines of dialogue before every fight to randomly generate through, and for some reason this was one of the ones they pulled for Spongebob:
It’s weird in context, but it is a fucking raw thing to shout out someone before you start beating the shit out of them.
Michelangelo wins the award for “Nickelodeon character with the stoner podcast.” It was a tight race for a bit. Patrick put up a good fight, but at the end of the day, if I had to guess which character was all about that reefer madness, it would be Michelangelo all the way.
Read more: Highly Recommended Stonercasts
Powdered Toast Man is a brand podcast. He’s all high and mighty about the benefits of powdered toast . You will never see him address any of the critiques of his brand, such as how powdered toast “tastes like sawdust” or “doesn’t really exist”. He’s not here to start a conversation. He’s here to tell you about powdered toast.
Reptar is . . . just a dinosaur. He doesn’t know what he for. He likes to stomp and roar. Hey! He’s just a dinosaur!
…I’m going to level with you guys, I knew I was going to hit a wall with assigning these Nickelodeon characters podcast types but I didn’t think I would hit it at Reptar. I loved Rugrats as a kid, so this is embarrassing. I’ve never even seen The Loud House and I’ve got two of those brats to figure out.
OK, fine, let’s be easy on this one. Reptar is a nostalgia podcast, which you could argue all of these characters could be. You know, those shows that are all like “hey, remember this thing you used to like? Well, we’re gonna talk about it every week!” It ranges from just discussing things from a random era or very specific things. I’d say Reptar is a 90’s one since that is just kind of what he is to me.
Patrick Star would not know what a podcast is, but would be talked into being the cohost of one by one of his friends who is clearly more interested in the topic they’re discussing. It would be one of those “oh I’m the expert and he knows nothing about it” kind of shows. Patrick is actually the more likable part of the show since the main host would be kind of snooty about it and mainly try to get laughs out of how little Patrick knows about the subject but Patrick is always the funniest. It’s probably Squidward.
As a side note, man, Squidward would be absolutely insufferable about podcasts. Luckily he’s not in this game so I’m not obligated to get into it.
Leonardo is any kind of eastern culture podcast, be it anime or history or whatnot, but hosted by a white guy.
Toph is a gamer who only listens to gamer podcasts.
Lucy Loud is, according to her TV Tropes page, “a gloomy goth girl with an interest in Gothic poetry” who acts cynical and insincere. So that’s something to work with.
I think she’s the same as Danny Phantom but her podcasts really get into the nitty gritty of the lore of the spooky stories, even at the expense of fun. It’s fun for some very specific people.
Oblina, who I am pleasantly surprised to find on this list, is straight up horror podcasts. I’m talking about the real scare the shit out of you stuff.
Korra is a sports podcasts. I’ve run the numbers and she is in fact the most jock character in this game.
Helga is an ill advised advice podcast. Not in the My Brother My Brother and Me “lol what bad advice we are giving” kind of way. No, this is a podcast that full chested gives people terrible advice and is incredibly defensive and hostile to critiques online.
….Is Helga The Joe Rogan Experience?
Catdog, who, given my personal tastes, I’m surprised at myself to find so low on this list, is, I dunno, let’s say Anime Sickos. Yes, I know I’ve been doing vague podcast categories up until now, but I am so close to being done. Just let Catdog be Anime Sickos. Come on. It’s almost Christmas and I’ve been ever so good this year. We all have places to be. Maybe click on a few ads on the way out. You don’t even need to buy anything. It’ll just look nice for our numbers.
Lincoln Loud is Serial. I have no jokes about Lincoln Loud. He seems like a nice kid.
And that’s all of them. Well, aside from the at-time-of-writing leaked DLC characters. But they’re not confirmed yet so I don’t need to do them. You can’t make me.
If your show overlaps with some of these character categories, congratulations! Enjoy your government assigned Nickelodeon character.
Just like with the Smash Brothers one, I really underestimated how much work would go into arbitrarily assigning every character in this character platform fighting game a podcast. It’s thankless and frankly unasked for work.
But my work is done. This entire article seemed to be a “yes, and” to a bit of me doing this with crossover character fighting games. As long as nothing else comes out to force me to do this again, I think this is a wrap on these arbitrary unasked for lists.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna kick up my feet, take a nice long sip of coffee, and look into this “MultiVersus” thing Twitter is talking about.
Editor’s note: Some shit went down before I could actually publish this, so unfortunately, I had to hit Eddie up on our Slack. Sorry Eddie. Sorry world.
Except I actually do. A quick update, a few hours before this article got finalized: they officially announced Garfield as a DLC character. On one hand, good for Garfield, he’s really been working for it. On the other hand, fuck me I guess. At least Garfield is a soft ball.
Garfield is a comic character. Therefore, he is podcasts about comics. This could range from shows about podcasts comics currently coming out like The Two Headed Nerd to shows doing deep dives into comics history such as Aack Cast.
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