The Parapod: The Haunted House Investigation That Lied
On a cold winter night in 2015 two comedy podcasters spent several hours in a supposedly haunted house in Yorkshire. One host hoped to find evidence of ghosts, the other wore a “screen-accurate” Ghostbusters costume. The recordings of this night became the season one finale of The Parapod, a two-part adventure that now, six years later, stands as a testament to the efficacy of editing and unreliable narration. After all, what good’s a ghost story without some embellishments to make up for what’s not there?
In the interest of not spoiling the ride that is the reason this review exists in the first place I will make it explicitly clear when we’re about to cross over into spoiler territory. Until then, some background on this funky little English podcast:
The Parapod’s first season is simple two-dudes-talking podcasting, though its premise sets a rough blueprint for a more polished (and marketing-friendly) version of the idea when Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural launched effectively the same thing a year later. Though the premise shifts slightly per season, the first Parapod features comedian and skeptic Ray Peacock (stage name of radio presenter Ian Boldsworth) challenging fellow comic Barry Dodds to provide evidence ghosts exist. Dodds, somehow eternally patient yet woefully unprepared, presents a “featured haunting” each episode in hopes he will find something supernatural Peacock will be swayed by.
Spoiler: he doesn’t.
What is The Parapod?
Parapod’s premise is, at the end of it all, a farce. Boldsworth and Dodds make an acerbic duo. There’s a silent understanding reached between the comedians and the audience that Dodds, the ill-prepared, easily-flustered fall guy, will likely never bring anything legitimate to the table that can withstand Boldsworth’s lawyer-like aggressive cross-examination. The first episode spends a significant portion of its runtime making a bit out of Dodds potentially getting sued for saying true-yet-inflammatory things about a D-list celebrity ghost hunter who dabbles in possessions and cold-readings. When they finally get to the first featured haunting of the series Dodds sounds as if he’s doing ominous finger-waggles every other sentence to add gravitas to what is otherwise one of the least-exciting haunted house stories this writer has ever heard. On an island famously full of creepy locales the best Dodds can bring to the table is a cramped Yorkshire house that hasn’t had the interior updated since the 80s.
Read more: Why Audio Is Great for Scary Stories
A massive red flag for a haunting that gets a lot of press is the existence of multiple ghosts who’ve no narratively-interesting connection to the property. Usually this smacks of a person who has a financial stake in the property making up new stories wholecloth to keep things fresh for the next TV show with “ghost” in the title. 30 East Pontefract’s star haunting is supposedly a long-dead monk, though a generic ghost girl entered the mix early on. A veritable undead Odd Couple. In a shockingly convenient turn of events, the caretaker of the house is also a medium who can see the ghosts.
What’s haunting the house?
As hauntings go, it’s the most forgettable “most haunted house in England” one could find, but 30 East Drive’s cramped quarters and mundane locale make it a perfect location for a Parapod finale. The tone of the evening is also set by a spirited discussion of a Halloween live episode of Most Haunted that featured so many clearly-faked moments Dodds floats the idea the actual ghosts were grateful to have the night off. Any notion of the house being a genuine source of investigation or haunting evaporates within minutes. The Parapod crew notice light fixtures without bulbs that conveniently make key areas dark. EMF readings – an already scientifically-dubious ghost hunting method – are rendered useless by the owner’s warnings that the house’s boiler triggers false positives in a certain room.
Still, the pair partake of a handful of classic ghost hunting cliches. EVP recorders are deployed, Dodds has an EMF reader, questions are asked aloud to the air. It’s only by virtue of this podcast being recorded in 2015 just before spirit boes hit the ghost hunting zeitgeist that the Parapod special doesn’t feature Dodds getting frightened by random words and static.
While not the most energetic of ghost stories from the first season, the quaint Yorkshire home of 30 East Drive benefits from both being the first covered and the location most easily accessed by the Parapod hosts for their first time out actually ghost hunting on-mic. On a cold winter evening Dodds and Boldsworth (resplendent in his £300 Ghostbusters costume) descend on the unassuming house. Immediately Boldsworth takes control of the situation by taking a specific chair at the kitchen table where their recording equipment is set up, forcing Dodds to sit with his back to the dark hallway. Dodds has a hard time finding moments of calm for the remainder of the expedition.
The audio of Boldsworth and Dodds Scooby Doo-ing their way through the house approaches creepy at times, jumpscares coming in the form of Boldsworth making loud exclamations about seeing mundane objects to scare Dodds, which then sends the former into peals of laughter. It’s cheap comedy, but delicious comedy nonetheless.
Moods shift as Boldsworth’s intentional scares peter out and a handful of difficult to explain events begin to crop up. The first part reacheds a cliffhanger ending with Boldsworth having disappeared into the darkness to perform a test, leaving Dodds in the downstairs kitchen able to hear nothing but occasional footsteps and the sound of Boldsworth’s walkie talkie clicking on to broadcast silence. What started as a goofy comedy podcast about two comedians’ half-assed ghost hunt evolves into a moment of scary tension. Items in distant rooms have disappeared and reappeared elsewhere. Others moved behind Dodd’s back. Dodds’ EMF reader starts spiking wildly.
Spoilers below for Part 2. Turn back now to save this joyous moment for yourself.
Not much is said about Boldsworth being the person operating the podcasting equipment throughout the investigation. He’s the radio presenter, it makes sense he’d be the one holding the recorder chasing a friend around a darkened house. If anything, the found-footage feel of it all adds an air of authenticity. Sure, Boldsworth is gasping randomly to scare his companion, but we’re with him the entire time. How could he fabricate things if the audience has a front-row seat to it all, including the mundanities?
The truth comes in a masterful reveal. Not unlike a Bond villain, Boldsworth reveals to a panicked Dodds everything inexplicable about the night’s events was purely improvised lies. He’d moved items while Dodds had his back turned. By some stroke of luck he’d hurled ping pong balls up a flight of stairs in such a way they landed equidistant, leading Dodds to come to his own conclusion they must have been placed there. All the while Boldsworth is there, saying noncommittal things so as not to directly lie but steer his co-host in the direction of believing what he wanted to believe.
Every good ghost story requires some suspension of disbelief, some willingness from the audience to be receptive to a fantastical macabre reality. On that same wavelength, media attempting to spin a scary yarn has a bag of pre-approved tricks to set a scene. Ghost Adventures has an uncomfortable aggressive violin sting whenever it comes back from commercial break. Horror audio dramas use ambient drones to set audiences on edge. The Parapod special lies by omission in an environment where hosts being dishonest with their listening audience isn’t just harmless, it’s more fun.
Future seasons of the show tweak the formula. Season two features Dodds broadening his scope from exclusively ghosts to mysterious events in general. Three takes on conspiracies. Regardless of how the other seasons vary in style and vibe, this blessed two-parter from 2015 remains one of the most memorable moments in Halloween-appropriate podcasting.
If one hasn’t tried out Parapod season one before now, there’s never been a better time to partake of the special with the debut of Dodds and Boldsworth’s film adaptation of the podcast The Parapod – A Very British Ghost Hunt.
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