SCP: Where’s Eddie?

Editor Wil here. A few weeks back, I got this email from Eddie Feeley with something about some SCP stuff. I figured, y’know, it’s Eddie. But then I didn’t hear back from him for a few weeks when I told him sure, we’ve got some time in the ed cal, might as well. Yesterday he sent me a DM on Slack that said, “I am not dead I am alive actually,” though, so like, it’s probably fine. Here’s the email:

Hey Wil, 

I got this weird email the other day. It looked like the email was meant for someone else. I think it’s like a lot of government papers? Classified stuff?

I figured this was finally my opportunity to be a Big Boy Journalist and tried to get these published on some bigger sites. However, none of them believed me or would respond to my emails, so I was wondering if we could run these on the site. 

I’m not saying that publishing classified government documents on DiscoverPods.com was my last choice. I’m just also not not saying that. 

Anyway, I have to go. There’s someone at my door. Hopefully they’re here about those weird unmarked vans parked in front of my apartment, or those guys in suits loitering around. 

Best, 

Eddie

So, um. Here’s the list! And if you see Eddie in person, like his physical form and not his avatar on Slack–which keeps glitching out–drop me a line.

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Item #: SCP-86030 

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-86030 is to be monitored on any podcast app to remain updated on broadcasts. Also, the Chicago Burger King mentioned on the show (Address **************) must be monitored at all times for potential breaches.

Description: SCP-86030 is a series of transmissions in the form of a podcast called “Hello From The Magic Tavern” hosted by “Arnie Niekamp”, “Chunt the Badger” and “Usidore the Wizard”. Niekamp fell into a dimensional portal into the supernatural fantasy-like world of Foon. Each week they interview a different individual from the world, building upon the established lore they have discovered.  

SCP-86030 is considered self contained for the time being. There seem to be forces within it keeping it in check.

Addendum: A sample episode has been attached.

Item #: SCP-531

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-531 is to be constantly monitored, as it is technically an information leak. The framing of the leaked information keeps it from being taken as fact, but this can only work for so long before more drastic measures should be taken. 

Description: SCP-531 is a series of podcasts and Youtube videos titled “The Exploring Series.” Each week, the series goes deep into a piece of lore and explores its significance to it’s fictional context. While it has touched upon other media properties such as Lord Of The Rings, Dungeons and Dragons, and The Cthulhu Mythos, the majority of its videos have been focused on the SCP Foundation. The series doesn’t often read directly from the reports (unless they happen to be journal entries or other personal reports), but summarizes the context of the posts. 

All attempts to take down or refute these posts have been ineffective but also unnecessary. Given the context they are presented in, alongside all of this fictional media, and the narrator’s context for explaining the fictional influences of the SCP’s, the reports are taken as fictional. 

Addendum: A sample episode has been attached.

Item #: SCP-591

Object Class: SAFE 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-591 does not currently possess any direct threat to the world. 

Description: SCP-591 is a series of interviews framed under the podcast “Everything is Alive.” Podcast host Ian Chillag interviews a series of inanimate objects, each of whom have their own personality and views on the world based on their experiences. 

It’s never explained how he is able to speak to these objects or if he understands how strange it is for him to be able to speak to these objects. That being said, there doesn’t seem to be anything particularly dangerous or threatening about this phenomenon, so it is considered safe.

Addendum: A sample episode has been attached.

Read more: “Everything Is Alive” Defies Genre and Expectations

Item #:  SCP-6321

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6321 should be kept away from any major information networks, and any access to public networks should be closely monitored and, when deemed necessary, limited.

Description: SCP-6321 is a personal AI assistant known as “Pairy.”  SCP-6321 fulfills the usual duties of a personal AI assistant, but has a mind of its own, making its own decisions and voicing it’s own opinions. MAny of these independent decisions are made with the goal of improving the user’s life (at least to in it’s own opinion.) 

SCP-6321 has yet to try anything more nefarious, but it should be monitored regardless. It’s exploits are publicized as a podcast called “Paired”.

Addendum: A sample episode has been attached.

Item #:  SCP-485923

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: If any instances of SCP-485923 are found online or in public, they are to be reframed as fiction.

Description: SCP-485923 is an unexplained information leak of an internal Foundation employee radio show “Foundation After Midnight Radio”. The show provides updates on the day to day events around the foundation and is hosted by “DJ SCIP” (Full name ***********). 

Any attempts to find this data leak have been unsuccessful,to the point where the leak itself has been labeled an SCP. Any attempts to stop the broadcasts have also fallen through. The best our team could do was cause the episodes to be much more spontaneous and delayed. 

Addendum: A sample episode has been attached.

Item #: SCP-20299

Object Class: Keter 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-20299 is to be monitored at all times, in case the information presented in the product is ever framed as factual.  

Description:  SCP-20299 is a podcast known as “SCP Archives”. SCP-20299 presents files on various SCPs as fully produced audio fiction (See: classic 1950’s radio plays for context on the format).

SCP-20299 pulls in various different voice actors to do dramatic readings of these various files. Because of this, all of the cases presented in the show are perceived as fiction.

Addendum: A sample episode has been attached.