Sometime during my early youth, and by early youth I mean the spring of 2016, I concocted a fashion-minded post around the phrase “podcasts&clothing”-lowercase letters and ampersand included. 

Looking back on it, it radiates that special level of Tumblr pretentiousness and faux-poetic phrasing that just doesn’t reflect my current writing style, let alone my own personal opinions on fashion. And much like a thirty-something looking back at their teen goth phase, I feel myself a little embarrassed by my shallow attempts to cash in on the cottagecore-dark academia-Harry Potter fan-Studio Ghibli GIF reposting-8tracks playlist making side of Tumblr (and by “that side of Tumblr” I mean eighty percent of it).

But even after all these years, not much has changed in terms of my field of interests: I’m still writing about podcasts, I’m still obsessed with fashion, and, bregugidly, I still have a Tumblr. It’s just the way I talk about them has altered dramatically between four to five years. 

And much like my personal sense of style has changed, so has my writing ability, so allow me to inform the less fashionably conscious readers to a personal Podcast Lookbook that will let the runway we call this dilapidated Earth know what low-budget passion project is on your Spotify queue at a single glance.

The Amelia Project: The Prepful Dead

The Amelia Project is the ultimate cozy, coffee shop vibe with a delightfully dark edge. To embody its aesthetic pleasantness should be a simple but carefully calculated operation and, much like organizing a fake murder, you won’t even have to get your hands dirty.

Remember the five Big B’s: bardot belts, big buttons, blazers, berets, and (if you can afford it) Burberry. Honestly, the default coffee cream under red and black plaid design Burberry is known for is an excellent starting point as far as color schemes go and nicely mirrors The Amelia Project logo with just some slight color correction. 

A collage including items from Burberry, as well as inspirations from Queen's Gambit and Gossip Girl

If there’s anything Burberry has taught us it’s that it doesn’t have to be autumn to wear autumn colors, so be sure to keep them intact even on the warmest of days. 

Any tank top or pair of shorts will come in a creamy caramel and will be an excellent substitute for the snug, ribbed turtleneck you can save for apple picking, cafe dates, and talking to Santa Claus.

But there’s no need to break the bank if you want the genuine article, your local thrift store or eBay bid (my personal favorite of the Big B’s) is sure to have the same pieces at half the price.

The Amelia Project’s air of effortless class demands all inspired by their style to be taken seriously by the masses. Be it you’re going for the private school student or stylish lawyer, either works when it comes to nailing the Amelia appeal. Think Cher Horowitz, Beth Harmon, and Blair Waldorf for preppy-chic style inspiration that’s smart but not stiff.

Brimstone Valley Mall: Hell of a Look

Brimstone Valley Mall fans will be delighted to know that the most typical of the gothic-punk fashion subculture is applicable. Seeing as how most of the ideas listed here pertain to some variation of alternative fashion, it was only a matter of time until we got around to rebellious street wear. 

Right here you’ll find the usual: leather jackets, fishnets, combat boots, silver jewelry, and deliberately ripped attire from skinny jeans to crop tops.

A collage of fashion including casual goth styles, studs, leather, and a Black Sabbath band tee

Seeing as how the band Brimstone Valley Mall is about doesn’t exist, at least as far as I know, the option of repping official band merch is sadly not an option. It’s times like these that substitutes come into play: Black Sabbath, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Misfits, and AC/DC not only have a surplus of merch but will at least evoke the vibe of the kind of heavy metal Brimstone is inspired from. 

Any true fan might want to consider getting a piercing or two and if you are currently prowling your local mall, don’t be afraid to break away from aesthetics to drop by your local Claire’s.

Inkwyrm: The Devil Wears Planets

Inkwyrm is a podcast for and by fashion auteurs. When blending science fiction fan with the average fashion conscious trendsetter, what first comes to mind is the somewhat dated but nonetheless memorable looks from movies like the Disney Channel original movie, Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century and Luc Besson’s, The Fifth Element. The Fifth Element even had Jean Paul Gaultier as its costume designer, including over 1000 designs for literally ever character in the film, including extras.

My personal favorite time capsule of futuristic fashion comes from Dreamcast rhythm game, Space Channel 5 which manages to be flashy even with its simple shapes thanks to a bright color palette, bold accessories, and go-go boots.

A collage of fashion including 2000s space-age references, Doja Cat in two different sci-fi looks, Laverne Cox looking like a benevolent deity of the night sky I would die for her, also Leeloo from The Fifth Element

“In my brain while making the show, Inkwyrm fashion is VERY campy, fully committed to the out-there sci-fi look.” said Newt Schottelkotte, main producer of the show.

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The best forward-thinking fashion has an equal balance of weird, rubbery, metallic fabrics and exposed skin-think Vocaloid, not The Noid-but if you still want to strike the balance of comfort, both me and Schottelkottle agree that bigger is better.

“Think Laverne Cox, Awkwafina, and Madelaine Petsch at the 2019 Met Gala.” Schottelkottle added. “Big shoulders, dramatic silhouettes, and skirts that are either very structured or loose and ethereal. Suits typically have wider pant legs to easily accommodate different body types, and at least one piece a season has a train.”

It might be some time before truly anti-gravity clothing becomes mainstream, so for now clothes that give off an effortless, floaty mystique is the way to go. Think flowy but not completely formless to keep things flattering which can be exemplified perfectly through pieces like culotte pants or tops with breezy, breathable fabric. Pair it with some metallic tights or a silver belt and you’ll have the tabloids orbiting you.

Girl in Space: “UWU Soft Space Child” but Actually Make it Fashion

Girl in Space is more specifically, and I hope I’m describing this correctly, “spacecore”. Now, spacecore fashion can range from the elegant and obscure to the dreadfully dated abandoned 2009 Tumblr account and it’s surprisingly easy to slip into the latter rather than the former. 

The problem with mixing subtly with space, which is something Girl in Space is especially good at pulling off in their show run, is that the very nature of the solar system is anything but subtle. 

A collage of fashion including Doja Cat again because Podcake loves me (Wil, the editor, I am painfully bisexual), 90s-style astrological/celestial mesh tops over velvet and bralettes

The best option is not to summarize the entirety of outer space in your wardrobe, but zero in-or, should I say zero gravity?-on one or two key elements that intrigue you the most. Choose just one planet, just one solar system, just one constellation and go from there.

I’ve been positively obsessed lately with mesh covers designed with star patterns and astrology themed belts. This pulls off a look that doesn’t make you feel like you’re wearing an entire planet on your shoulders, let alone the entire universe.

The less you look like a walking craft store, the better. Too many gimmicks at one time and you’ll be pulling off Miss Frizzle, not her much sexier cousin, Miss Sizzle.

Greater Boston: Good Will Bargain Hunting

Greater Boston embodies the vibe of a busy, city crawler with just a dab of surrealism and it’s actually surprisingly easy to get that across with some very deliberate outfit choices. 

If there’s anything Greater Boston has taught me, it’s that minimalism and simple storytelling can convey so much more than you think if you have just the right spice behind it. Thus we will be dabbling in the age-old practice of taking a famous template and applying a weird spin for extra flavor. 

Let us observe: the businessman.

From here, it’s all accessories: I’m talking printed neckties, suspenders, tinted sunglasses with circular rims-pretty much, look like you just walked off the set of Stranger Things.

A collage of fashion including late 80s/early 90s thrifted menswear-inspired looks with ties, a sachel styled like a briefcase, and a look of oversized neon green jacket and mauve pants

If you’re going to be investing in decorative neckwear, be sure to balance it out with shirts that compliment the eccentricity of the tie. Too many crazy patterns at one time will throw everything off so stick with one or the other: crazy necktie with a tame shirt or tame necktie with a crazy shirt. The same could be said with suspenders and pants as well but if you want an extra pop of color somewhere around the nether region, cuffing your pants is an excellent and simple solution.

Those who want to especially dip their toe into the vintage aesthetic might want to invest in a polaroid camera, the type you wear around your neck with those really thick lanyards. And no Greater Boston inspired piece is complete with a leather messenger bag, nothing too big, just wide enough to carry your laptop and thick enough to accommodate iron on patches and vinyl buttons. 

The point is to always make it look like you’re always going somewhere important, that you’ve got people to meet, large buildings to take photos of, and, most importantly, rollercoasters to not die on.

Less is Morgue: I Would be Caught Dead in That

You know those t-shirts and sweatshirts with the glow-in-the-dark ribcage designs around the torso? Okay, that’s pretty much the starting point for any Less is Morgue inspired ensemble. 

Seeing as how Less is Morgue is about dead people and all the advantages and disadvantages that come with it, it’s only fair to exemplify the air of the undead so much in your wardrobe that people mistake you for a really enthusiastic necrophile. 

Less is Morgue is much less goth as it is casual punk with just a bit of a scene influence. Where in Brimstone Valley Mall is all leather and chokers, Less is Morgue is at least willing to wear a mood ring and rubber bracelets every once in a while. 

A collage of fashion including  mid 2000s to 2010s pre-tumblr tumblr fashion including a skeleton-printed bodycon dress and Sanrio-inspired prints

Take just a few elements of Brimstone and be willing to color-code it: Instead of ripped black fishnets, stick to perfectly intact neon fishnets, swap out short leather gloves for striped arm warmers, why wear chains when you can wear glow sticks? It’s all about giving off the bioluminescent glow of the afterlife without making your outfit lifeless in the process. 

But to keep from looking like you got lost on your way to a graveyard rave, here are some of my personal tidbits to add to your shopping cart. 

Forever 21 has this positively adorable polka dot mesh graphic top with some “til death do us part” typography that just screams casual goth. And if those glow in the dark skeleton hoodies aren’t doing it for you, Pretty Little Thing’s skeleton bodycon dress is a must-have.

All that and more is possible with some guts, be it your own or the ones you’re eating. And best of all, you don’t even have to be seen in public with a Nickelback t-shirt.

Station Arcadia: Forget a Triple Threat, You’re a Quadruple Threat

Now, I’ll admit that creating something fashionable for Station Arcadia was a self-imposed challenge. Station Arcadia is, after all, a love letter to a variety of industrial science fiction settings that combines dieselpunk, steampunk, cyberpunk, and solarpunk-all of which have their similarities but just as many polarizing differences from an aesthetic stance.

We haven’t quite gotten to a point in time-let alone been able to backpedal far enough in time-where trench coats and top hats paired with eco-friendly visors are an average accessory, but there’s nothing wrong with at least embodying those ideas into your outfits without looking like you got lost on the way to a Dresden Dolls concert being headlined by Steam Powered Giraffe that was also hosting a Studio Ghibli movie marathon interspersed between clips of Blade Runner while sitting in World War I jets repurposed into chairs.

A collage including Selena Gomez in a fluffy pink floral dress, a Volkswagen beetle, Studio Ghibli films, and brown leather accessories

The point is to simplify your look so much that you manage to look both current and ahead of the curve at the same time. I’m positively in love with this ruffled, flowing spring dress worn by Selena Gomez in the “De Una Vez” music video that positively screams casual solarpunk. 

Pair it with heavy boots and an Apple Watch while carrying a copy of Atlas Shrugged in a leather satchel and you’re good to go on any point of this massive dystopian island.

But in all honesty, it’s all in the little details: drink herbal tea out of a ridiculously ornate mug covered in so many moving gears it may as well be classified as a weapon, watch SuckerPunch on your VR headset and refuse to take it off in public spaces, drive a stick shift that runs on sunflower oil.

 It’ll take a true artisan to truly know what all your minor details add up to. If you ask me, an air of mystery is the best accessory.

Return Home: Style for a Rainy Day

When you live in a place like Melancholy Falls, it’s best to always be prepared for the unexpected. And no I’m not talking about genies and spirits of greed, but really humid, dreary weather. 

Believe it or not, rainy-day couture isn’t just limited to baggy, unflattering coats and ruined makeup. If you know where to look, you can get your hands on some awfully chic pieces that’ll keep your confidence high and your hair dry.

No need to become a weather fashion victim just because of some noisy clouds, instead utilize it into your wardrobe that makes the weather itself seem like a pre-planned accessory. 

A collage of fashion including a black romper with a wide white collar and a belt, a black ribbed crop top, umbrellas, and a clear raincoat

As someone who spent eight years in Georgia, I personally own an absolutely fantastic transparent raincoat that I picked up from a Forever 21 which not only functions as its own fashion statement but a window into whatever ensemble I’ve got going on underneath. But what do I wear underneath, you may be asking the screen with the foolish assumption I can hear you. 

Non-constrictive fabric in simple colors will let your skin breathe and keep your coat from clinging and cluttering. The especially bold will get a kick out of showing just a little bit of skin with crop tops and shorts in case a sunny day is just on the horizon.

Match your umbrella of choice to either your coat or a key color in your core outfit and onlookers won’t just think you’re returning home, but returning to the runway.

Alba Salix, Royal Physician: Turning Herbs

Thank goodness the phrase “cottagecore” finally became a thing because I’ve finally found a word that best describes the fairy tale inspired podcast Alba Salix, Royal Physician which only makes my job of theming a hypothetical outfit much easier.

To those unfamiliar, cottagecore is essentially the equivalent of aggressively glamorizing the concept of farm work, living in small little log cabins in the middle of the woods, and generally living off the land. And apparently Alba Salix was way ahead of the curb because witches and witchcraft are often associated with the joys of making natural elixirs and baking mushrooms into pies.

Here you’ll need the basics: ankle length skirts, wide brimmed sun hats, flat shoes, and at least one white delicate summer gown that will be the perfect start for any number of accessories.

A collage of fashion including rattan accessories, textured tops with strange, natural-looking prints, and a body necklace that straight up looks like the magic Whitney Houston Fairy Godmother does in the good version of Cinderella

It can be hard to pull off overalls, aprons, and cuffed shirts without looking too matronly and too many flowers at once will have you looking like the end of Midsommar instead of a carefree summer child.

But maybe white bases are too basic, that’s where the modern advancements of patterns come in. You can never go wrong with floral print, sunflowers are especially popular, and plaid or gingham can really liven up the otherwise tame color scheme of the average Alba Salix fashion statement. 

Try pairing with woven bags and tweed jewelry for a Hippie-chic flair or go for wiccan with some wicked crystal pendants that are easy finds at your local Etsy store.

The Godshead Incidental: L’Oréal Ipsum

The Godshead Incidental shows in its bright blue and orange title card alone that they’ve already got a taste for contrasting colors and that alone sparks such an array of options for my fashion conscious self. 

Given the fact the protagonist works as an advice columnist at a newspaper in a fantastical urban setting, I can’t help but let my mind wander to geometric patterns, blazers and peacoats in bold colors, waist hugging shorts, sunglasses, and these big circular sunhats I’m positively in love with. We aren’t just going mod chic, we’re going god chic.

Take just a small drop of the washed up hipster aesthetic from the Greater Boston ensemble and sand off the edges with pops of color and sharper silhouettes. We’re jumping from city crawler to city slicker in just a few simple adjustments.

A collage including bright colors, mod-inspired dresses, a dark outfit with a wide hat and fringe, and an issue of The Wicked + The Divine

But if you really wanna play up the mythology aspect and are at a loss to find something that embodies your devotion to the god of memory, a bolder spirit will adore these tights that makes a massive Greek mural wearable or this similarly inspired form fitting cherub top-just don’t wear them at the same time.

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Maybe Em doesn’t have this kind of stuff in her closet but I’m sure any self-respecting god, a real one or not, owns at least one of these things (Not Tervis, though. He owns one Hawainn shirt too many.) You may not be a god but you can at least be someone’s fashion muse.

Now get yourself into something cute and set some style standards for your fellow podcast fanatics. Besides, furry pants and tunics are just so last year…